I wish I had known the principle of learning in the head versus learning in the heart.

I specifically remember, during my freshman year of college, hearing two professors share two different pieces of advice with their classes. I learned one of these with my head and one with my heart. If I could rewind the clock, I would go back and learn about them with my heart.

I went to a small Christian school, and while all of my instructors had doctoral degrees, they all went by Mr., Mrs., or Ms. My communications teacher was Mr. Hunter. I remember him telling the class that if we wanted to have a great date with someone, we should always keep the conversation on the other person. Ask them questions and take a genuine interest in what they say. Don’t interrogate, don’t be manipulative, take an interest. When they ask about you, answer, but guide the conversation back to them. Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves. As a very shy and backward young man, I took this to heart, and it helped me talk to girls (and everyone else, too). I learned this in my heart, and my behavior changed.

In Mr. Payne's Bible class, he shared that protecting our minds is critical. Everything we see and hear affects us. Every song lyric, every movie, every word our friends say to us . . . EVERYTHING. All the things we take affect our perspective and how we think and behave. I heard and understood him with my head, but it did not affect my behavior.

The terms “head” and “heart” are analogies:

When we hear something with our head, we learn it logically. We know and understand it logically, but we don’t feel it deep within us. It doesn’t have deep internal value to us and doesn’t move us to action.

When we hear something with our heart, we learn it deep within us. It’s so much more than just a piece of inanimate information. It IS animate because it lives deep within our nervous system. We know it emotionally, and it drives our behaviors and actions. Another way to say it is that when we learn with our hearts, it changes our paradigm. (More posts will be coming on paradigms!)

When we hear and learn with our heads, we learn things logically. This does not change our behavior. When we hear and learn something in our hearts, we learn it deep in our nervous system, and it changes our behavior. Once we understand this, the impact on our lives is huge.

It’s SO EASY to hear good information or advice and internally say, “Yeah, yeah, I get that,” but never take it in beyond your head. It doesn’t go to your heart even though you KNOW it’s good information you should follow. It’s hard to slow down and take in the information with the intent to learn it in your heart.

Do you want to take the easy road and be mediocre, with many regrets later in life? Of course not! So, if we don’t want this life of regret, we must do things differently. We must learn with our hearts.

In this blog, I share many things I know, many I’ve learned the hard way and many I’m just now learning on my journey through life. I encourage you to follow along with your heart, not your head. Only through hearing and learning with your heart, using your imagination to play out these discussions in your life, will you truly learn. You’ll feel the pain of not applying these principles if you hear them with your head instead of hearing with your heart and your nervous system.

I wish I had known these things. I would have made much better decisions and avoided a lot of pain and frustration. Good luck on your journey. You, too, will make a lot of mistakes. Learn from them, and then share your "I wish I had known," too.